www.schlopstakovich.com

Um....guys...um.... I'm a little .... I need some help... there's a soul sucking evil monkey writing me death threats.... what should I do!??

Does anyone... know....how to get rid... of evil monkeys.....?

PLEASE help. I'm really scared and Lee's not here and Schlop is sleeping...

Mr Monkey... any ideas?

OH NO!!! He sent me a personal threat too!!!! HELP HELP HELP HELP



HELP
HELP

HELP

HELP

HELP

HELP
HELP
HELP

OH GOD!!!

The Evil Monkey has posted everywhere... I'm freaking out!!!!

I knew Schlop was right and we should've never let monkeys on this forum.... oh guys... help help help!!!!

I gotta get offline.... WAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Mr. Monkey here - I know exactly how to deal with Evil Monkeys of this sort. It seems he must have come from one of your dreams and now he is following you everywhere. Luckily I have the power to vanquish this Evil Monkey back to The Dreaming from whence he came, where Morpheus of the Endless shall deal with him.

Mr. Nibs, soon you will be free from him forever!

Mr. Nibs, for me to vanquish this Evil Monkey that is haunting you - it will require the use of three of my hats! First let me explain what has happened.

You took a longer nap than usual.



Then when you woke up the Evil Monkey had appeared!



Now the first hat I must wear is my thinking hat, which I will use to outsmart this Evil-doing Monkey.



A-ha I have come up with a plan. This Evil Monkey must be in cahoots with the Devil, so I will use the Word of God to offend him!



This seems to have worked, he is now much weakened in power. To finish him off I must use Strength to banish him forever from these forums. Wish me luck!



Phew! I am exhausted, but it is done! The Evil Monkey has been returned to The Dreaming and locked into the 3rd level of the Dark Tower, from which he can never escape.



Good riddance, Evil Monkey! Now we are safe.

Great work, Mr. Monkey!

I dare say Elphaba would be proud of you!

That Evil Monkey was scary!

Why thank you, Mr. Snacks! It was my pleasure to help out our ever-so-extraordinary moderator, the infamous (wink, wink) Mr. Nibs.

I would be remiss not to mention though that Mr. Nibs - in his state of panic - suggested that all monkeys should be banned from these forums. I hope I have been able to show him that some monkeys are nice and helpful and that he will let me stay to partake in all this excellent conversation. I would suggest that, in the future, he be a little more strict in letting in new members who go by the title of 'Evil.' Hopefully a lesson learned.

Now it's time for my night cap! Off to bed...

Hey Mr Monkey

Wow... you saved Nibs!! How can we ever repay you for banishing the evil monkey!! Thank you, Mr Monkey.

You know... I was initially not so keen on you due to your formal speaking nature and the general sour taste in my mouth left from that one guy, Schlopney, but I think I may have been to hasty in my judgement. You are a pretty awesome monkey. It's very impressive that you make your own hats and are so eager to help your new friends.

I hereby pronounce tomorrow, Wednesday March 1st, OFFICIAL MR MONKEY DAY.

HOORAY!!!

Thank you Mr Monkey. Our forums are safe again!!!

Woot Woot!!

I say, young primate... well done and good form. Being the sole monkey on these forums up until now has been a taxing endeavor. These bears are rather queer for the most part.

It is my pleasure to welcome another monkey to the fold and extend my eternal gratitude at your ousting of that other monkey before he was able to tarnish the name of all New World monkeys.

Please accept the highest honor I can offer... the Silver Hero Cup. Hopefully the royalty will hear of this honorable deed as well and perhaps a knighting ceremony may be in order.

Wot yous bangin about lee? I totally disagree wiv yous. In fact yous borrow me a wicked taste in my mouf, a taste well unlike tuna.

Yes, yes, ra, ra, blah blah, Mr Monkey saved us all....


Does anyone else think that maybe the "evil Monkey threat" was just invented by Mr Monkey so that he could save us and become accepted?

Kind of like how Homer kept trying to get the nerds to "save" the Dean's life so they could get back into school? Only Mr Monkey had better results.

Does anyone else think the evil monkey looks a lot like Mr Monkey wearing a mustache?!

I don't quite know what to say... I dare say that if an orange monkey could blush, I would be blushing right now!

I know I will be celebrating tomorrow as Official Mr. Monkey Day, and I'm just sorry that it has to replace Ash Wednesday, but oh well - I'll take it! I would be pleased if Mr. Rafiki could celebrate it with me as well. That cup is quite a sight to behold, but me as a knight... I'd rather avoid coming into such close contact with a sword's edge, thank you!

And Mr. PB, if you think I look like a mustachio-less Evil Monkey, then in return I offer that you look just like Mr. Schlop ... who has been dipped in a vat of urine - Ha!

Mr Monkey,

I'm new to these forums and I've never met Nibs, but is a very HEROIC thing to save someone like that.

So HOORAY! Happy MR. MONKEY DAY!!!

One of my student's made this for you:

Oh... Mr Monkey... you're SO brave...

I wonder.... do you think.... well... no... it's ok... but if you ever... need another friend... besides Shnoodles.... maybe you can be my friend too.... oh oh oh.

*blushing*

Here's some fan art I made for you wearing a special Mr Monkey Day Hat: